You don’t need such a freaky freak flag to fly, because, duh, about sex can be sexy. Now, stop thinking about all that and finish reading my article. What Mandy discovered in a bathroom stall at the New York Post’s HQ, I learned in a small rectangle in the corner of my computer screen: what my sex face looks like, what I look like naked, what angles flatter me, etc. Because the next step is getting ALL up in the camera.

Ever since I realized I could hide my upper-arm fat off-screen, I’ve been prone to a little live editing. Feel free to readjust the angle of your camera or writhe on your bed until you’re a Skype sex bombshell. Crawl around on all fours to give your behind a little screen-time. Get on your knees and straddle your keyboard, or lay back and tilt the screen until you’ve got that perfect between-the-legs shot.

Wiggle your ass close to the camera and touch yourself.

Tilt the screen up from between your legs until your boobs and face are both visible.

For me, this means cleaning off my bed, shaving my legs, and lighting enough candles to make my room suitable for a coven gathering.

I might also skim a story or two on or scroll through sexy texts, if I’ve got ’em handy.

Even if you never mention threesomes again (although good luck -- give most straight dudes an inch on threesomes and they’ll take a mile, I’ve noticed), you both know you’ve thought about it, and it’s a turn-on that you could both be thinking about it RIGHT NOW.

Also, it can be way easier to bring this stuff up online than face-to-face.

I tried to have a good attitude about the whole thing—at first. It helps that texting is free, too, thanks to Whats App, which works anywhere you have a Wi-Fi connection, even internationally.

And then there's that old-fangled standby, Skype.

And by “creative,” I mean that, like zillions of other sexually frustrated people, I’ve had to take my sex life online.