A guy I was seeing who was separated—not divorced was still sleeping with his ex.

(I found out years later, but it still hurt like hell.) That said, I still feel like dating someone who is separated is no worse than dating someone who is recently divorced or for that matter, divorced.

We go into relationships with the best of intentions. But it can also be hurtful to the one who ends up being the transition person. I’m just suggesting that you understand their needs now may differ from their needs down the road.

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The thing is, every divorce story is different, every situation unique.

I think that people later in life make commitments of the heart, and whether or not they are monogamous has nothing to do with a divorce decree.

Regarding this guy’s situation specifically, I feel for him. In the meantime, he should keep doing what he’s doing: going to school, working hard and raising his kids.

He is going to be officially divorced in September, so what is the difference in one month? He will turn out fine, and when his divorce is final, he will probably get more dates, which seems a little silly to me (that the women care so much) but it is what it is, right?

My divorce is amicable and I maintain a good relationship with my ex.

There’s no love there though, we’ve clearly moved on. I have my stuff together…own my own place, pursuing an MBA, good job, do the best for my kids, and I’m in a good place right now.

I’m not looking to rush back into a marriage, but I’m looking to date with an intent on finding a relationship.

It’s what feels right for me and I feel ready for it.

People often wonder about dating someone who is separated—not officially divorced. I have been separated for over a year, with young kids I have half the time.

Read this email I received from a reader who is having problems in online dating because he is separated–not officially divorced.

During the next 30 days is he going to all of a sudden become ready to date? Over his divorce just because he will have a piece of paper that says he is no longer married? I am not going to tell him I think he should lie on his profile and tell women he is divorced. Divorced Guy Grinning is a blog for men facing divorce and dating after divorce.